Within My Essence

So much death, grief and sadness
Where to put it all, I say
In G-d, of course
But how to find the way?

Not always so easy
Though it seems it should be so
When one truly believes
Shouldn't we just know?
But for whatever reason
Not happening quite so easy
Swaying to and fro in the chaos
I often get quite queasy

I lift my head
I fix my feet
Shoulders pulled back
Standing very tall
For what more can I do
Then stay strong in the face of it all

I could buckle and fall
Anytime anyone of us
We could lose it all
The grim reality
Of the fragility of life

I begin to pray
Ahh...here it is
Once again I see the way
As the fog clears

I become calm within the strife
When I honor G-d's presence
Connecting to the power
Within my very essence

Falling in love

Initially emphasizing the best
Lost in the rest
Though apparently aware of it
Then in the snare of it
Somehow losing face
Letting go of grace
Lost in the shadow

Hopefully coming back around
Remembering initial ground
Never changed
Just rearranged
In the journey
Bringing increased perspective
Now choosing to be elective
Where we put our focus
Truly the locus
Of the ending

A true love story or not
Here is the spot
It's decided
Hopefully not divided
By the shadow
Over run by the glow
Of true love

Forever the two kingdoms
Ruled by light and dark
Struggle for dominion
Creating a spark

Where we put our energy
Bringing destruction or creation
Is oneself in the making

In relationship
Another dimension
Often causing ascension
It seems easier to be alone
Than a queen on the throne
In times of strife
But in the whole of life
Maybe that's not true
I wish I knew.....

Daddy

As we played in the waves
And you showed me the ways
To face the coming threat
Believe it or not
You taught me to say
You bet!

I have all it takes to find my way
Each and every day
Because of you
The courage is there
To face the fear
To be all I am meant to

We are so very different
And yet amazingly similar
In one very specific part
For don't you see?
We both come from the heart

But you deal with the number
And I with emotion
Yours makes me slumber
While mine brings devotion

My feelings for you
From deep in my soul
From all that I am
I love you

Shadows in the dark

There are no shadows in the dark
Or are there?
Though not devastating
Ever awaiting
Can be the shadow

Differing shades of grey and black
Cast amidst the darkness
Lurking and in wait
For the day light shines upon them
And they can do their pogrom
Upon whom they belong to
Reeking havoc on the host
Tearing down the structures
A lifetime in the making
Never forsaking

As dust begins to settle
Sun shining bright
No where now to hide
Everything exposed to light
Time to rebuild
Shadows disappearing
As ruble is cleared
Lost in the sharing
Of truth

When kept in total dark
Shadow made a lark
Left powerless and lonely
Wondering if only
It could have some attention
No more ascension
Left to be kept however
On life support forever
For no breath of its own
Much tragedy be known
Any life that still exists
It resists
Wanting only destruction
For the host not to function

With awareness must come action
No allowance for fraction
Possible complication of emotion
Requirement of devotion
Shine light on fears and sadness
Invite in the gladness
Awareness aspiring inspiration
A most amazing sensation

Following the winter snows
As spring approaches one knows
New growth occurs
As young life stirs
Bringing hope for a new day
When humanity finds the way
To live in peace and harmony
A beautiful symphony
In life

I'm In Love

My dearest one
A beautiful psalm
Deep within my heart
Right from the start
You penetrated my being
I knew you were seeing
The deepest parts of me
With you I'm free

To shine forth bright
The light of my being
Opening up the dam
Of endless love
Connected from above
You're in my every thought
For your the one I've sought
From the onset
A beautiful sunset

Letting go of the before
Sunrising on a new shore
A beautiful paradise
You provide me with the space
Amidst a dark and dangerous place
To laugh and to dance
To be in joy
I am in love

I love you always

He's not the man I married
She cries out in aghast
She stares at him
He stares into never
Or sits with his head in his hands
His face pulled tight
He looks in agony
Nothing is right

I can't take it
She says
I never thought it would come to this
We used to live in such bliss
Where is the man I married
I'm lonely and I miss him
If I could only kiss him
Like before
When he was strong and powerful
Living life, masterful

Now he is weak and pathetic
But I do not regret it
As we lived life well
Now we come upon a new day
We must learn a new way
To live life
From a different place
Finding grace
In the moment
I love you always

My dear brother

I am sorry
I cannot be there for you

I hope there will come a day
When things will go by the way
And we connect in care for each other
As things were meant to be
You are my brother

I float on by down the river
As you stay fixedly entrenched on the bank
I fare the well
In so many ways,  you're swell
But I see you have your own journey to make
For everyones' sake
Please remember this
For not to tell you would be amiss
You are such an amazing soul

So stuck in your reality
So many facades
So sorry I am
For your disease

Unable to identify
Connection between soul and body
The true schism of the schizophrenic
Born unable to orient ones' spirit
Within the physical world
Of time, distance and space
A participant in the human race
Yet, set up for disgrace
As there is no sixth sense to the self
Stuck in their perception
Unable to see the most basic reality
Virtually unable to distinguish
Specific threat to the body
Unable to see the rest
As there is a blinder
Life, a barrier to the true self

How painful it must be
To be  a schizophrenic
Intolerant of society around
Creating only enemies
Yet simply caring deep within
A barrier to loving connection
Between this life and self

I cannot not stand to think
Of the pain you must withstand
And why you do the things that you do
Sabotaging self and other
I pray for you my brother

Darkest Moments

Even in our darkest moments
There is no pit that is so big
That He is not deeper still
With kisses
The best remains
And the very best is yet to be

My Spirit and I

It happened so fast
We did not see it coming
My Spirit and I

The ground began to shake
The structures began to fall
All around me, destruction
We stood there side by side
In shock and disbelief

The pain came so suddenly
It took my breath away
Excruciating and deep
Had I heard the snap of something cracking?
I started to weep

A stupor from which I was awaking
Where do we go from here?
She asked
I could barely think
What do we do?
All I had was questions too

Eyes full of tears
Trying not to cry
A life filled with fears
So many lies
I'm broken, I suddenly realized

Too much to discover
Need time to recover
So many whys
My spirit sighs

Happy 16th My Son

Scatter Joy, gather wonder
Follow your heart
Know that I will always be there with you
Wherever you are
Be the best that you can be
Stay honest with yourself
Take with you my gratitude
My love and my light
Know you have with you forever
What you need to shine bright
I sense for you a magnitude
Of all that's good and great
I see for you a fortitude
Now go forth and get it

Life is so short, but not your souls'
Presence within your essence
So forge your way
Come what may
Stay with yourself
The greatest part of who you are
For you are a shining star
When you were born, you were golden
For that I am beholden, to G-d

I love you in my life
No matter how much strife
I cannot imagine being here
Without you, my dear
Stay present and be good
Loving and caring
I see beyond the hood
And I know who you are
Amazingly connected
A bright and shinning star

Love,
Mom

Shine Bright

To feel is to know
To know is to be
To be is to love
To love is to see

G-d's divine presence
Here with us on earth
To shine forth our essence
Proving our worth
Beyond the five senses
A magnificent place
Of loving embrace

No matter how dark
How dismal and deep
His love always shines greater
In greif we weep

Nurture the love and the laughter
The sound and the sight
Allow the connection
And shine yourself bright

The Greatest Good

We live in a world of shadows.  These phantoms are our not-selves, but most mistake them for the real Self.  Only ages of sorrow and suffering can bring that discrimination which show us what is really worth while, and develops that determination which strengthens us for the attainment of the greatest good.
Manly Hall

Divine Plan

This life is not only what it seems to be.  Hidden by the cloak of materiality is a wonderful world which only the eyes of a dreamer can see and the soul of a mystic comprehend.  The stony walls of conventionalized thought and commercialized ideas shut from view life's noble path.  But as the ages pass, some see the greatness of the Divine Plan and comprehend the human soul.  Sorrow, suffering and loneliness are the great builders of character.  Man never becomes truly great until his heart is broken.  That is the supreme test.  Those who are deepened and broadened by their experiences rise triumphant from the ruins of their dreams and pass on to fuller destiny.
Manly Hall

Innermost Heart

But when two people are at one in their innermost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron bronze, and when two people understand each other in their innermost hearts, their worlds are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids.
I Ching The Oriental Book of Changes